How Not to be a Greedy Easter Egg Hunt Parent
It's that time of year again! Are you going to a community Easter egg hunt? Before piling the kids in the car, here's a five tips for how NOT to be a greedy Easter egg hunt parent that everyone secretly wants to tar, feather and parade through the city like the fool that they are.
How NOT To Be A Greedy Easter Egg Hunt Parent
1. Let the kids collect the eggs. Don't go in there and start scooping up eggs for your 5-year-old UNLESS they can't do it themselves. In that case, pick up around 5-10 eggs, not 40.
2. If you have a baby under one-year-old, cool it. Your baby doesn't know their own name or where they are. You don't need to collect a trash bag full of eggs for your young toddler. You're like those people who trick or treat with a six-week old and score enough candy to last them the entire year. You're basically using your kid as a "Will Work For Food" sign. Go to the hunt, collect a few eggs for photos, but don't go insane grabbing eggs because you look crazy.
3. Remember that they sell candy at the grocery store, too. This isn't war times. We are not being rationed. We aren't experiencing a chocolate shortage. Take a deep breathe and give other kids a chance to get some eggs. If you see a small child struggling, don't swipe eggs from under their nose, help them out.
4. Reign in your own kids. If you spot your older kids being greedy and pushing down toddlers to collect more eggs that they really need, stop them. You're the parent. Teenagers need to stay home. If you're old enough to have hair on your privates and get a part-time job, you can pay for your own Easter treats.
5. Remember, this is supposed to be fun. You're not grocery shopping. Inside of those eggs are dollar store trinkets and small candies, not gold coins. Leave the fun for the kids and don't ruin it for anyone.
We approve of this book.
Nobody Likes a Cockblock: The Children's Book For Adults Who Aren't Getting Any
Cockblocking by children is a serious condition that affects millions of parents around the world.
Excerpt:
The stars are out, it’s dark outside.
I can see that there’s sleep inside of your eyes.
Stay warm in your bed, on our door do not knock.
Because nobody likes a cockblock.
The train’s leaving the station, it’s about to go down.
My ticket is stamped for a trip to Pound Town.
Your job is to sleep like the heaviest rock.
Because nobody likes a cockblock.
I love mommy so much. She’s my favorite cutie.
Tonight I would like a piece of that bootie.
Don’t ask for milk or help with your sock,
because nobody likes a cockblock.
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Nobody Likes A Cockblock is perfect gag gift for Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday parties, baby showers, baptisms, and of course, wedding presents.
Coming April 5th
