Public Bathroom Trip: Parent View vs. Toddler View

Parent View:

"Not this again. And right when I'm about to pay for the groceries. Why is it that this kid is not at all interested in potty training unless I'm standing at the register with a cart full of perishables?

Whatever. Ok, don't touch anything. Nothing at all. This place is nothing but an e-coli factory. It's flu season, too. I bet anything we're going to walk out of here with some kind of stomach virus.

What did I say DON'T TOUCH! How hard is it for them to keep their hands to themselves? No hook on the door. Great. DON'T TOUCH! Not even the wall! NOTHING. KEEP YOUR TONGUE IN YOUR MOUTH FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY!

Ok, I lined the seat. No, don't hold the microscopic-pieces-of-poop-covered toilet seat for balance. I'll hold you. Yes. We're like human Jenga right now. This is so ridiculous.

Just pee. C'mon pee. That's it? That was like 1/16th of an ounce. This kid was hopping all over the place, screaming about pee over a half dropper full of urine? Sometimes I think they just like visiting public bathrooms. This is insane.

Ok, I might as well pee, too. DON'T TOUCH. WHAT? WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO LOOK UNDER THE STALL? GIVE PEOPLE THEIR PRIVACY. I'm so sorry, stranger. I swear my little peeping Tom didn't mean anything by it. If I could give you back your dignity I would. So sorry.

Let's wash our hands and get out of here."

Toddler View:

"Oooh. I'm getting that feeling again. That feeling that we're close to a PUBLIC BATHROOM. I guess I do have to pee a little. That's the ticket I need to get in there. I HAVE TO PEE AND IF I DON'T PEE RIGHT NOW I'LL HAVE AN ACCIDENT!!!!!!!!! Yes. We're on our way.

She looks mad. It's probably nothing.

This place is amazing!! It's everything I dreamed it would be! Oh wow, listen to all of those water sounds! So many pipes! Someone wrote on the inside of this stall. I wonder what it says. It's probably something beautiful. I wonder what it tastes like?

This floor feels different from the floor at home. Harder and colder. I wonder what it tastes like.

The paper is different, too. I wonder what it tastes like.

Time to go potty! Yay! A whole lot came out. I bet she's proud of me. I'm proud of me.

Oh, you have to go potty, too? Good job. I'll watch. Closely. Your downstairs parts look weird. I'll comment on them loudly in case anyone else wants to know what I think. I wonder if anyone else in here is going potty. I'll check. YEP! LOL! She didn't even see me coming! She's very surprised. I'm basically a ninja. A toilet ninja.

Time to wash hands! I can't wait to see what color soap is. I'm going to need a lot. I wonder what it tastes like.

Can't wait to come back here one day."